I need help!!!!!

I know I said this blog was going to be devoted to only me, but I need help.

My daughter is the most stubborn, onry little girl ever. ( I know everyone thinks this, but I am quite sure Sophie is by far one of the worst) She has already been let go by one daycare because of her behavior and now is about to be let go from her current one.

Here is Sophie in a nutshell: Very determined, extremely bright, overally active, the most stubborn person I have ever met and very adorable. She does have tantrums when she doesn't get what she wants and has a very bad temper. As a baby she used to bang her head on the ground when she was mad, but our pediatrician told us this was normal for some children. She is extremely spoiled and has been since day one; however, we are tyring to work on that and have been for a while.

One thing about Sophie is that the more resistance she has the harder she fights back. If she can detect any anger in your voice she feeds off of that and gets madder and less likely to do what she is told or calm down from a fit.

Knowing this about her, I have adjusted to this, but I think others feel that this is some type of defiant behavior. It amazes me how these women (the babysitters) think that they are going to be the magical solution that whips her into shape and "by God she will do what they say"! Well this particular sitter has been great up until yesterday. She has always said that she is willing to work with Sophie and that she has a bad day every now and again. Well yesterday, I receive this e-mail stating that she is becoming increasingly stressed out and needs suggestions regarding "discipline" of Sophie. She stated she thought she was hyper (funny b/c I personally think that she is a typical 3 year old) and that maybe we should adjust her diet. She suggested that her mother (who is a teacher) come and observe a typical day with Sophie (She did this w/out asking), then she continued to state that Sophie should be evaluated by her pediatrician. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Last I checked this person is not a child psychologist, nor does she have a college education. Does she actually think I would hop on this bandwagon.

What am I going to do? I don't want to change sitters again because I do think this person is a good care provider, but I can't stand by and listen to long list of negatives about my child.

Does anyone have any suggestions? I need help!!!!! (Any suggestions regarding Sophie's behavior is also appreciated)