The Replacement

What was supposed to be a simple procedure at the dentist this morning once again turned into to a 1 ½ hour venture. All the guy had to do was put my permanent crown on. That is it… Point blank… Make sure it fit, check my bite, cement it on, check my bite again and then send me off. It is evident to me that this should be a very simple process; however, with my new Pacific Northwest dentist nothing is ever simple.

My old Midwest dentist didn’t have much “chairside” manner, but what he lacked in personality he certainly made up for in quality. In and Out, quality work and top notch staff made a pleasurable experience.

My new Pacific Northwest dentist is a talker. Not only is his “chairside” manner present it is beginning to annoy me greatly. He seems to be very well liked by every patient, but me. I overhear them rant and rave about his quality work and pleasant attitude while I am fuming in my chair wondering why the dipshit can’t get me numb or why he must explain everything to me in such detail that I feel I’m in Denistry 101. You see I want quality!!!! I don’t want to hear all about your kids and the hikes you are taking this weekend. For God’s sake man, can’t you see I have rubber block and dental dam shoved so far down my throat I am contemplating regurgitation. You think I give a rat’s ass about your three kids and OMG!!!!!!!! Manscape those eyebrows.

Needless to say the replacement crown was finally placed and due to him showering me with compliments regarding my “Insanely White, Perfectly Straight, All Natural” chompers, (actual quote from said dentist)I might give him another chance.

Better Late than Never....

I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off for the last 2 weeks. Not only has work been super busy, but my personal life as well. I have finally met a good friend here who borderlines just a bit crazier than I am, so we have been hanging out on the weekends when Timmy is at work. He has been working very long hours lately and I have been begging to go part time, but it just isn't in the cards right now.

I don't have much to post about because I am so tired I cannot collect my thoughts to put something coherent in writing. I am hoping to post more tomorrow.

TTFN

Why Oh!!! Why....

This my dear readers is an open letter to all of those girls who shouldn't be doing "that" in public.

You know who you are. You are the short girl on the train wearing her pants 2 inches to long because she wasn't patient enough to spend her money on a pair of petite pants that actually fit. You drive me crazy... One word for you ALTERATION.

And you, you pretentious b*tch with your Miu-Miu bag, don't you know there are babies going hungry in this world. Stop spending $2000.00 on a handbag and your &60.00 manicures. Realize that when someone smiles at you it is polite to smile back.

Oh!!! and you, you are my favorite. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, put vaseline on your nose to relieve chapped skin in the middle of a crowded train. Some things are to be done in the privacy of your home. Seriously, GROSS!!!!

Turkey Neck

I know this person who has this big time turkey neck. Not in the sense that it is flabby, just all encompasing. I mean so encompasing that the thick slab of fat starts at the chin and ends at the clavicle. Now I know this sounds mean, but truly it is more of a medical mystery. I don't think I have ever seen such a sight. This person is not obese nor does she have an abnormally large head just a big fat neck. I wonder sometimes if she has sleep apnea because of this feature. She often complains she doesn't feel well and suffers from insomnia. I want to tell her that all of those problems could be fixed with the simple procedure they call "liposuction"!!! Mean I know, but I am back rambling and you all said you wanted more.

Now, I know that I am not exactly the thinest mint in the box, but my chin is somewhat doubled due to overeating not the natural causes of being ugly.

Oh!!! on the weight loss front I am the proud loser of 28lbs. and couldn't be happier. Omg!!! I am getting so hot and I don't know what to do with myself. So what if I fell out of the good graces of the "Sexy" gods for a short time. I am back and feeling confident and Hawt. By the way, while my vanity shows I must say that I got the cutest haircut tonight. A stylist is like your gynecolgist, once you find a good one you just don't want to give them up. It has taken me two years to find the right stylist and I do believe I am addicted. I heart my new stylist.

One negative note is that I am noticing a wrinkle in between my eyes and it is making me rethink my harsh stance on shooting botulism toxin into my face.

I forgot how therapeutic this blog can be. Hey maybe I should do this more.

Till next time,

Shock me

Beeeeeeppppppppp Does this blog have a pulse. I think it might still be alive but only by a very fragile hair.

12 Step

I haven’t been a good blogger as of late. A wise friend once said that she was a _______aholic and I must admit I am one to. Like this wise friend, I was very into blogging at first, checking my readership two or three times a day, perusing other bloggers to see if they too had blogging frenzitis, and couldn’t help but dream that one day my blog would receive accolades for it’s raw humor and literary excellence. To my dismay not all bloggers are spastic and instead of devouring their new found journalistic outlet like I had, they have sticktuitiveness, which is precisely what I don’t have. The luster of my blog has worn thin and I am onto another conquest. So here goes nothing. I am officially addicted to my new IPod-Touch. It has become my new favorite thing and I have been preoccupied playing with it at every spare moment. As all other “new” things in my life I know this too will pass.

Only 1 thing can bring me out of blog hibernation......

MUCK FIZZOU

It was a good fight. You win some and you lose some. Hell Mizzou has been losing to us for years now.